he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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