Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
operation harelip BJ is a go
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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