I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize