Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
