Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
