I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
