is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
