Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
