okay pat passed out under dana's car
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
