I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
