well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So much rum. So many feels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My bed smells like the plague
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
