So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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