...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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