didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
