I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would fuck him just for his dog
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
