Small penises have feelings too.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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