There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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