the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My first STD was from a foam party
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Maybe he injected his testicle?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
