he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My vagina is officially offended.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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