using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We don't watch enough power rangers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
