Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
