Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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