u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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