you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Enjoy the penises
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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