one two three fourrrrnication!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
