remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
