if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
