I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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