You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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