uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
