get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
