My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
