I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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