I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize