do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
