ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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