I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
