Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
