I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
