are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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