i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
