so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
