Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
