I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
