You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
