i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
