yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
