Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
