you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
