Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
