dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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