I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
