ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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