you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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