piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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