I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
