just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
