I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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