Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
