new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
