At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
