i can't believe i had my finger in that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
