she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
