He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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