seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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