put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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