I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
