I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
